Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

I'll update these "blogs" (I hate that word so much) soon. Lately, I just don't feel like it. I'm more into downloading free music these days. Advances in technology have made me a pirate. I had my leg removed and replaced with a nice beechwood stump earlier this afternoon. Speaking of this afternoon, I'm feeling nostalgic for the Middle West of this fine nation, or as Northeastern jerks call it, "flyover country." It's colder than a "witch's tit" here in Austin, Texas, USA, reminding me of the many winters spent in my homeland of Nebraska. I promised myself I would stop making fun of Texans on those rare days when the weather is wintry, but I can't help myself. My wife's workplace, and apparently many others', shut down at two this afternoon, and when I hit the grocery store on what is usually a fairly customer-empty and stress-free Wednesday afternoon lull, the place looked like the day before Thanksgiving plus explosions. I don't get it. It wasn't icy. It was just cold. It got down in the twenties, but I drove all over the city today on numerous errands and there was no ice. Apparently, it got icy later in the evening, but why did 800 million people swarm the grocery store like the great Nor'Easter was going to hit? Just because it's cold does not mean food will no longer be available. You can buy food tomorrow. You can buy food this evening. You can buy food two days from now, and every day after that. You are not going to be snowed in, iced in, or tsunamied in at any point in your residence in this region. Wednesday afternoon is my time to buy groceries. I don't have a lot going for me right now. Let me have my Wednesday afternoon. Oh god, why won't you let me have my Wednesday afternoon?