The Man Who Refused To Take His Gorilla Mask Off, Part 6

Steve sits in his office with the door closed, proofreading a manual entitled "68 Easy Ways to Turn on Your Computer." He strokes the hair on the gorilla mask and thinks about his last six dates and their undesirable outcomes. Five of the women ran away before the date was over, though one woman, Rosetta, performed oral sex on him. It had always been a fantasy of hers, she explained, to "blow someone wearing a mask." Steve enjoyed that date, but hadn't heard from Rosetta again. A knocking on his office door surprises him out of his thoughts.
"Come in," Steve says.
Steve's boss, an abrupt and serious man named Todd, enters the room. He looks angry.
"Steve," he says. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm just proofreading this manual," Steve says. "Why?"
"Dammit," Todd says. "Not that. The gorilla mask, for chrissakes. Why are you wearing it?"
"I'm an apeman, Todd. It's who I am."
"Well, you're not an apeman here," Todd says. "This is an office. You're supposed to be a professional. Now take it off."
"I can't take it off, Todd. I'm sorry. I have to leave it on."
"You can either take the mask off and work, or leave it on and look for another job. We have clients coming in today. I can't afford to lose business because my staff looks like they escaped from the fucking zoo."
"Are you firing me?" Todd asks.
"If you won't take the mask off," Todd says. "Then yes."
"I'm sorry this happened," Steve says. "I thought this office would be ape-friendly. I guess I was wrong."
"Yep," Todd says. "Clean out your desk. I'll call H.R. and have them get your paperwork ready. Fill it out and then you're free to go ape all over the goddamn place, and I can hire someone who takes the job seriously."
"But I do take the job seriously," Steve says. "I just can't take this mask off. You've gotta understand."
"Sorry," Todd says. "We have a strict policy against the wearing of masks in the office. I'm talking zero tolerance."
"Is it in the manual?" Steve asks.
"Yes."
"Will you show me?"
"No."

Steve walks home, dejected. He moves slowly and stares at his feet while he walks. Tears well up in his eyes and drip through the holes in the mask. I've got no job and no apewoman, he thinks. I've got nothing. It's all over for the apeman. The world is a harsh and unwelcoming place. Steve breaks down into deep, heaving sobs. Then he notices the heat. It's much warmer than it should be, isn't it, Steve thinks to himself. A woman screams. Steve looks up and sees a thick sheet of flame surrounding a house. The fire department and paramedics have yet to arrive. The woman is hysterical. Steve runs over to her and puts his arm around her. She screams again.
"My babies," she cries. "My babies are in there! And my kitty! My babies and my kitty! Oh god, no!"
Steve looks at the woman. Then he looks at the house.
"What have I got to lose?" Steve says before running into the burning home.