Tower of babble

I was at the arcade last week, drinking Zompo and listening to gangsta rap on my Discman, when some teens came up and started conversing with me. I tried to glean something from the whirlwind of incomprehensible verbiage spewing upon me, but, alas, it was all Greek to me (and I'm not even Greek!!). Had the language changed that much since my own high school years, a mere decade ago? The answer: Yes! The solution: An advertisement on the television from my local Fox affiliate promised a special in-depth report about "cracking the code of teenage slang" on the nine o'clock news that same evening! Oh, sweet manna from heaven! You heard my cries, Jesus, and answered accordingly. This in-depth report promised to decipher such baffling turns of phrase as "pimpin' hotties," "rippin' it up," and "off the chain." Unfortunately, a few blasts of absinthe and England Dan & John Ford Coley records later, and I realized I had forgotten all about it. Shit! Has any fellow Austinite been more dutiful in their Fox 7 viewership? If so, please inform me of anything you may recall from last week's special report. You will be forever in my stead.

Listening to: Ween - Paintin' the Town Brown
Reading: Three Short Novels of Dostoevsky: The Double/Notes from the Underground/The Eternal Husband (That book of horror stories turned out to be hyper-shitty. I have to read something phenomenal to wipe it from my memory.)
Fucking: Up my life