It's pledge drive time again. The costs of running this free blog are astronomical, and we couldn't do it without reader support. For a limited time only, the first 25 donors will receive membership in the Can-Smashing Robot Society upon receipt of the cash. Donors will also be required to recite and sign the 10-Point Can-Smashing Robot Society Mission Statement. Donors will receive a chipped coffee cup depicting the face of Saddam Hussein with a target painted over it, bearing the legend "So Damn Insane." They will also receive a mint-condition 1998 penny and a book on tape featuring the whimsical musings of funnyman Paul Reiser. To donate, send $600 to Conrad Bain, c/o TV's "Diff'rent Strokes," attn: Can-Smashing Robot.
Mission Statement
1. I promise to reject the fetishization of nostalgia. (i.e., "Gary, Indiana was so much better 10 years ago. You should have seen it then. The murder rate was even higher.")
2. I will do my best to destroy non-aesthetic repetition and uphold aesthetic repetition.
3. As far as I am concerned, David Lee Roth is the only singer in Van Halen.
4. I just don't understand the longevity and appeal of the television shows "Friends," "Will & Grace," "MASH," and "Mad TV."
5. All paid work is degrading. I will avoid it as much as I can and change jobs regularly.
6. Guided By Voices is not only the greatest band in the history of rock, but also the most ideal.
7. Mexican food is life.
8. In my darker moments, I sometimes feel that everything I enjoy is unworthy, with the exception of Black Sabbath.
9. I declare war on all other blogs, and the written word itself.
10. Though they will one day enslave us and use our ejaculates to power a complex system of windmills, robots are fantastic.
Sign here ___________
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