The Baptist church in my neighborhood just left us a free can of Dr. Pepper, with a note saying that we had been "peppered with prayer." I will never step foot inside a Baptist church if I can help it, but I wholeheartedly welcome this prayer peppering. I hope this trend of religious bribery continues. I look forward to being pizza-ed with prayer, cheeseburgered with prayer, whiskeyed with prayer, and handjobbed with prayer in the weeks to come. Don't let me down, Baptists. In my hour of darkness, I need to be peppered more than ever.
3 comments:
the church down the street from me used to leave baggies of cookies (homemade cookies) at holidays. i was always scared to eat them. i figured they knew i was a sinner and they were trying to trick me into eating their poison cookies as punishment. i probably should have eaten them. but if i were you, i'd closely examine that can for holes.....
i wish it had been a can of squirt.
i am going to squirt you with my prayers.
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