Monday, August 08, 2005

Fuck you

The Dukes of Hazzard is Number One at the box office, grossing more than $30 million in one weekend.

All week, I have been bombarded with ads for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. According to, 174 people worked on this film. Huge amounts of money were spent making this film and paying these 174 people. In addition, the movie is rated R, so anyone purchasing a ticket is at least 17 years old. Think about that while watching the TV ads. It's mindblowing.

If you pay to see either of these two movies, you are hurting our country. Fuck you.

Usually, I can laugh about the awfulness of a horrible movie, but for some reason, the fact that a sequel to Deuce Bigalow exists, and that probably lots of people will go see it, depresses the hell out of me.


roo roo said...

Yeah, but did you see that hot chicks ass? "I think something bumped up into my undercarriage!". Barf. Willie can bite me now.

milk and cake said...

it kills me that time and money were put into those movies and that idiots will go and see them. it just reinforces in a huge ugly way how stupid the american public is in general.

and it's obvious that rob schneider sold his soul to the devil to get that deuce bigalow gig. there's no other explanation for it. he sold his soul for fame and the devil pulled one over on him for making him famous for shitty movies.

Bartleby said...

The real gag, however, is that the "badness" of the Dukes of Hazzard movie actually ads to its cache. For years the "general public" (or whoever collectively has the 30 million to give Sean Williams Scott) was inundated with "pop art" that it found vapid and childish and banal and pointless, but was nonetheless marketed to, and championed by, elitist assholes. Now we have this nonsense--which, if anything, is even more "authentically" postmodern because the original Dukes of Hazzard was so low-brow, inauthentic, whatever--and everyone, including me, just wants to scream that it is vapid and childish and banal and pointless--that it is somehow inauthentic inauthenticity. As a matter of form, I don't find it any more disgusting than Andy Warhol or most cover songs, so it just becomes a matter of taste and execution, and I haven't seen it, so I don't know.

Or, short answer, the 3 million ticket buyers (which, really, isn't that much: what are the numbers for a Tuesday edition of "Average Joe" or an Oprah episode contemporaneous with her getting skinny or fat?) just want to forget they are alive for 2 hours and/or touch another person's genitals and if they are under the age of 17 (or happen to look like they are) what other options do they have this week at the cineplex? Truthfully, I find the idea of "Stealth" more despicable.