Sunday, October 16, 2011

I'm out of ideas

What I want to write:
"Unemployment is dragging me down. I'm exploding with stress and I feel about as hopeless as I've ever felt. If you read this blog, enjoy it, and are in some kind of position to offer me any kind of employment, please do it. Send me a message, and help my ass out. If you can't help me out, fuck off."

What I will write instead:


Anonymous said...

Take the best three entries of the horror blog, title it something like "The Unemployed, Beer-Drinking Film Snob's Guide to Horror Movies You've Never Heard Of, You Jerk" and send it as a proposal to twenty obscure, not-so-obscure (amazon?), vaguely pornographic, and John Birch Society-funded publishing houses. What's the worst that happens: You lose $20 in postage and/or they give you fifty bucks and you can stare at your book on a shelf? What's the best that happens? What happens at the end of Jaws IV? I can never remember. Was that the one with the shark?

Anonymous said...

I can't help you out with employment, but I REFUSE to "fuck off," sir.

I like reading your blog so I will share something with you that hopefully will make you smile. When I type "can sm..." into google to arrive at your blog I invariable get the suggested first result of "can smoking weed kill you."