Saturday, April 19, 2008

Louis Black Poop-Stained Poop of the Week

The gag is that I don't always do this every week. Here's this "week's" narcissistic bilge:

"Wouldn't we all actually be better off if, instead of grading the morality, humanity, and righteousness of all others, we instead worked upon improving ourselves? This would mean actually working on change rather than anointing ourselves, judged against the standards of those of whom we disapprove. The too easily and consistently glib will accuse me of doing exactly what I condemn here, but that is just a kind of lazy desperation to dismiss troubling arguments. I condemn no person or persons, nor do I celebrate or redeem myself in any way. Of course I wish I were a better person. Of course I am just as trapped by my emotions, experiences, and self-centered ways when dealing with the world as anyone. No Zen loss of 'self' here. No large-picture arguments against selfishness or in favor of losing identity or addressing the defining oneness of us all."

Troubling arguments? The only thing troubling is how this guy writes all the time and never improves. You'd think he'd accidentally stumble into a coherent sentence once in a while.

Here's a bonus boneheaded play from last week:

"Usually in this column, I at least try to cover every minor thoroughfare branching off from the highway of the main idea, mostly to protect the argument I'm making from being dismissed too easily because of a factor not considered or a potential not discussed (of course, many of my ideas are dismissed, so the emphasis here is on the 'too easily'). What follows is just a brief checklist on some positions, so no discussion is fully rounded or being too carefully presented."

You protect your ideas from being dismissed too easily by smothering them in incoherent, irrelevant digressions? Give clear, well-constructed sentences a try some time. It will probably work better. Maybe people dismiss your ideas because they can't find them.


Anonymous said...

I was always a bit indifferent about this feature on faceplant. Sure, I thought, this Louis Black fellow is a below-average writer, and a total blowhard, but what alt-weekly troll isn't? With this week's addition, however, everything has changed. To combine this level of pretension and sentence level incoherence IN EVERY SENTENCE is a marvel. I can't explain it, nor could a million monkey with a million typewriters duplicate it. I apologize for doubting the the critical acumen of the mighty Robot X and the mighty faceplant. I have seen the light: Grading on a published words-to-talent ratio, Louis Black may well be the worst writer living in America. We are right to ridicule him anonymously.

-Dr. Werewolf

casual ninja said...

Strange... this one also drove me to write. I had never heard of this gentleman before your blog, but on reading your postings, I feel unclean. What offenses! I almost think it would be more of a challenge to find a coherent sentence within his atrocities. But perhaps if you waited for that day you would never write again. He is truly shameful. I just finished writing my thesis paper and reading his work is like a nightmare I might have. Realizing the paper is due in an hour, and oh god what have I written?! I can't even grammar check this!