Tuesday, September 06, 2005

These new indie kids need to eat a cheeseburger, run a comb through their hair, and spend a little time in the sun

I haven't been posting much lately. I was in New Orleans for a week, then an unexpected trip to Nebraska for a funeral two days after the NO trip. 45 hours in a car in two weeks. Then New Orleans floods. I didn't know if my friend and gentleman scholar, Professor Romance, was okay for a few days. Fortunately, he escaped to Houston, then Florida, but he's probably lost most of his stuff and his college is closed for a semester. There's lots to say about this flood, but I'm not up to it. It's just bad. Very bad. In this early retirement/poor life decision/necessary insane gesture/winter of my discontent/endless summer/neverending dance party I've launched myself into without a Plan B, I've taken two separate trips to New Orleans and fallen in queasy, degenerate love with the place. It must rebuild. It's below sea level. That kind of lunatic hubris needs to be respected. Nature will fuck all of us up bad one way or another. Nature is a bad motherfucker. The world is a scary place and life is brutal and short. Eat animals. They'll eat you first if they get the chance. Drink, cavort, be merry. Get as much pleasure out of this shithole as you can.
For some stupid reason that escapes me now, I've decided to apply for grad school. I've been studying for the GRE these last two weeks. It's probably pointless. My undergrad transcripts are the equivalent of a three-year-old coffee-stained map of Afghanistan. Lots of As, Bs, Cs. An F. No Ds, though. Fuck. I've had a weird month. I feel like a kicked skeleton. I need some luck. Maybe I'll go to clown school.

Reading: Lords of Chaos: The Bloody Rise of the Satanic Metal Underground by Michael Moynihan and Didrik Soderlind
These Norwegian Black Metal guys are some of the most hilariously stupid people who ever lived. It would be easier to laugh at them if many of them weren't neo-Nazis or in jail for murder and arson. They got the writers they deserved, too. I don't think the book has touched an editor's hands. The writing is disorganized, pretentious, repetitive, ridiculous, and unintentionally funny, just like the bands. These guys have names like Euronymous, Dead, Hellhammer, and Count Grishnackh. Check out this quote from Dead about his band Mayhem's stage show: "Pigheads, as well as other heads, is what we try to have at all gigs." After Dead committed suicide, his roommates Euronymous and Hellhammer found the body. Hellhammer: "Euronymous thought of sawing his arm off and putting it under a glass display case, but he figured it wouldn't be very smart because the police would probably ask where his arm was." I love the use of the word "probably" in that quote. Genius.

4 comments:

kristykay said...

I love that a guy named Dead killed himself. Wouldn't the really crazy thing to do if you named yourself Dead be to live forever?

"Dead finally died, everyone. He was 102 years old and living out his life in a fine Norweigan nursing home."

Bartleby said...

Hasn't he figured out a way to live forever? Hasn't he?

milk and cake said...

now i'm going to have to read that book.

the thing that annoys me most about the goddamn indie kids and their reluctance to shower is that showers are NICE. it's perfectly pleasant to stand under some warm water. it's not like cleaning yourself up requires a lot of pins and needles and agony. everytime i see one of those unwashed assholes i want to kick them in the shins. there's no excuse for that kink of stinkiness.

archivaria said...

i told you it was gold...i don't even remember reading the whole thing, just passages because less is more with these guys, if you know what i mean. we could reduce a large amount of ick in the gene pool if we got all these assholes together on one island. with some pigs. and a few of the gnarlier republicans.

and i agree with receptionista...showers are nice. and also, i knew that i was unfit for hipsterdom because i love being clean. and also, my hair always smells good. and also, send her the book when you're done with it. the more people know about them, the more they can be mocked and avoided.

ps - gorgoroth, a norwegian black metal band, made vh1's 100 most metal moments. they came in at #45. only pussies appear on vh1 lists. are they in that book?