Ice vs. Fire

I was looking at craigslist today, seeing if any exciting job opportunities had been posted, and I stumbled across this beauty: http://austin.craigslist.org/tlg/58508127.html
Please click on it and read it.

I decided I had to reply. Here is my reply (please read craigslist posting first):
So, ICE-MAN,
You believe your rather large inheritance will be enough to produce a formidable ice-army filled with cold-blooded ice-sidekicks. To this I reply, what an ice-joke! You see, I have also recently inherited an incredible fortune, from not one, but 12, deceased and massively wealthy forebears. They died in suspicious circumstances while attending the Super Bowl halftime show, but that is neither here nor there. The purpose of this missive is to challenge you, once you assemble your team of ice-warriors, to a dangerous and ridiculous extreme battle challenge in the park near my apartment. If you accept this challenge, I will reveal the park's location in an e-mail sent at midnight on the next full moon. Oh yes, ice-nuts, here's something else you should know. My group of sidekicks likes to play with ... fire! I am known as The Inferno, and my fiery group of playmates includes such worthy fighters as Fireball McGee, Hot Pants Mendoza, Matchstick, Firecracker Tony, The Electric Blanket, Chinese Firedrill, Spicy Meatball Visconti, the indie-rock band Hot Hot Heat, The Roman Candle, Burner Left On Too Long Wilson, and Huge Motherfucking Explosion. Do you accept the challenge? Are you and your sidekicks ice-cold enough to put out this fire? Bring the freeze, my friend, and we'll bring the heat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I look forward to your retort. Have a pleasant Valentine's Day.

The Inferno


I sure hope he replies.