The Manifesto
1) These words are evil and must be obliterated: Work, Career, Money, Safety, 401k, Oral Surgery, Overtime, Dress Code, Church, Alarm Clock, Stasis, Sunday School.
2) These words are good and must be upheld: Sandwich, Life, Art, Free Time, Pattern Disruption, Sin, Setting Own Schedule, Large Supreme Pizza.
3) If an animal gets in your way, eat it.
4) If a book gets in your way, read it. Unless it's by Dean R. Koontz. In that case, throw it away.
5) Sleep as often as you like. If anyone gets on your case about it, tell them to fuck off.
6) Soul-death is a reality. To prevent this, spend as much time as possible away from the eyeline of the Bossman. Hunker down beneath a desk or table if you have to.
7) Don't let "doctors" tell you how to live. If you like to smoke twelve packs of cigarettes a day and eat lard sandwiches, continue to do so. Quality, baby. Not quantity. Did you know that not a single one of these so-called "doctors" has successfully beaten death?
8) If you waited in line more than 30 minutes to see any of the last three Star Wars movies, may God have mercy on your soul, for I cannot.
9) It is noon. If you have pants on, you have failed somehow. Don't be sad, we are all failures. We will all die. Remove your pants and carry on.
10) Pick some arbitrary category, then debate its merits. Example: "I used to think Stevie Wonder was the best 1970s soul artist. Now I'm leaning toward Curtis Mayfield." This is a good way to waste time.
Reading: Captain Maximus by Barry Hannah
Looking: disheveled, unshaven, tousled, dilapidated
4 comments:
Finally, a Manifesto that I can really get behind.
From now on, my office is a no-pants zone...
this may not be manifesto quality, but I also suggest enjoying bowel movements. Not just the having, but the discussing and analyzing thereof. We all shit, and come on, pooping is funny.
Bowel movements. They can be heaven and they can be hell.
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