Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year from the Gurflakks

Hello family and friends,
Another year of challenges and blessings has come and gone. As we say goodbye to 2015 and how do you do to 2016, I've taken a few moments to reflect on the past year and share those reflections with you, our loved ones. It's hard to condense all the comings and goings and doings of one whole year into one little ol' typed letter, but here are some of the highlights from the last 365 days in the life of Marion, the kids, and the "Big Kahuna" AKA me (LOL).
In February, the whole bunch of us got in the van and went to McDonald's. Todd had three McFlurries. (Can you believe it?)
Cadence skinned her knee in the front yard imitating an episode of the Netflix original series Narcos. I think she learned her lesson about letting the professionals handle the stunts. :)
Randy burned off part of his right eyebrow working the grill at our annual May Day BBQ (some of you were there). He won't get near open flames anymore and sometimes wakes up screaming, but the boy still loves his hot dogs and grilled halibut.
Sheila sees a shadowy figure in her bedroom at night. She calls him The Shifter and says he's not quite human. He's told her terrifying prophecies about the future of humankind.
Gabe got a B+ in Geometry.
Jett got trapped in the wall in early March. He doesn't know how he got in there, and we can't figure out how to get him out. I don't know what he's been eating, but we can still hear him in there, pounding away, yelling. Boys will be boys.
Marion still does her crafts. She has her hands full with the kiddos while I put in my 45 hours a week at the bologna factory, but the weekends are her time to shine. I've enclosed a photo of her latest project, toilet seat covers with the faces of each of our presidents (except Obama).
I can get a 45% discount on one package of our company's processed meat products six times a year.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and my face has turned to glass. My hands. My chest. My whole body. Then, I look again and I'm flesh and blood.
The whole family has been enjoying Homeland, Pawn Stars, and that show with Rob Lowe and the kid from The Wonder Years. No spoilers! We're still catching up on the last few episodes.
Sadly, our family has experienced some loss this year. Our poodle, Mr. Cooper, ate some poisoned kale and passed on to the next world. We believe our neighbors' teenage son was responsible but cannot prove this in a court of law. Fortunately, our Siamese cat, Clams Casino, and our Scottish terrier, Rolando, are still in the peak of health.
As for me, I'm just glad to be living, loving, and gainfully employed in the good ol' U.S. of A. I hope 2015 treated you right.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours!

Ambrose, Marion, Todd, Cadence, Randy, Sheila, Gabe, Jett, Clams Casino, and Rolando Gurflakk